Critical Incident Stress Debriefing: Rule 1, It's confidential, respect the other attendees.

The first thing I have to say about a Critical Incident Stress Debriefing(CISD) is that they are like civil fight clubs. They have a very sensitive, confidential nature about them, so like fight club it has 2 rules.

1. You don't talk about the CISD. 
2. You DO NOT talk about the CISD. Jk...

During the CISD I attended the facilitators made it very clear not to talk about anything that actually happened or was talked about during the CISD.  People are free to meet in private and talk to each other but in order to protect the confidentiality of the meeting no one should talk about it or post on it.  I'll respect that in this and promise not to betray any names or specifics.

I personally enjoy working code.  I get to pull out all the skills and knowledge that I've been taught while getting a physical workout.  If we get a "code save" or ROSC then I did my job and actually saved a life. Even if they don't walk away from the hospital like a true "code save". I, at least am comforted that we got them to a place they can say their final goodbyes and potentially save more lives as an organ donor. If they don't come back then it is frustrating but we tried our hardest and couldn't have done anything else.

I did not like working that trauma code. 

1. Young healthy people shouldn't die.
2. A parent shouldn't watch it happen.
3. CPR at high speed isn't fun.
4. Nothing sounds worse then parents finding out they've lost a child.

As I was talking to the nurse trying to collaborate times and details another crew saw me and said I didn't look good at all. I was white, sweaty, and spacing out. I don't know exactly why but this incident was critical for me.

What is critical incident stress? Workers responding to emergency events and or disasters will see and experience events that will strain their ability to function. These events, which include having to witness or experience tragedy, death, serious injuries and threatening situations are called "Critical Incidents." The physical and psychological well-being of those experiencing this stress, as well as their future ability to function through a prolonged response, will depend upon how they manage this stress. (OSHA - CISG).

 So that person contacted some of the leadership and I had multiple phone calls from different people shortly after just there to talk, offering help, and making sure I was okay. Everyone on the call was able to meet at base and talk it over directly after the call which is important. The following day I attended the formal CISD.

Critical Incident Stress Debriefing (CISD) is a facilitator-led group process conducted soon after a traumatic event with individuals considered to be under stress from trauma exposure. When structured, the process usually (but not always) consists of seven steps: Introduction; Fact Phase; Thought Phase; Reaction Phase; Symptom Phase; Teaching Phase; and Re-entry Phase. During the group process, participants are encouraged to describe their experience of the incident and its aftermath, followed by a presentation on common stress reactions and stress management. This early intervention process supports recovery by providing group support and linking employees to further counseling and treatment services if they become necessary. (OSHA - CISG).

For me the biggest help was knowing I wasn't the only one that was affected. Nor was I the only one that didn't sleep well that night.  So I feel it was successful. I didn't feel better instantly, but that isn't the point. It help the process of feeling better about what happened. It's been a few months at this point so I do feel better. I know we did everything we could have done to help the victim. Now does that mean I'm getting on a 4-wheeler or letting my dumb little brother near one... well hell no. But that's another day, Another issue.

If you have had a Critical Incident then please do yourself a favor and look into getting help. If it was a work related incident like mine then your HR director is an excellent place to start.  Mine was very helpful and more then willing to offer assistance.